I wrote this article because I’m asked so many times how it can be possible to move on from an abusive relationship. People wonder how is it that my past no longer affects me, whether I have regrets and how I can now trust again. But first things first, let me remind you; you WILL […]
Estrangement from different perspectives
As an estranged parent I am living through estrangement from one perspective: my own; but as a coach I deal with estrangements from several perspectives – and I must never assume that my own lived experience is the same as my clients’ experiences. Every single situation is individual and unique although there are some patterns […]
Why do people stay in abusive relationships?
How many times do you hear, ‘If I were in an abusive relationship I would leave’? Did you know that the above statement may even force someone deeper into an unhealthy relationship rather than encouraging them to leave – but why is it that people don’t escape at the first signs of toxic behaviour? In […]
The anxiety toolkit
I’ve pulled together many things relating to anxiety and made them available here for everyone. Please feel free to share so that it might help others too. For further reading, click here for a previous article of mine which explains more about anxiety and panic attacks. The first thing that I want to make quite […]
My personal grounding routine for anxiety
I’ve been asked by many people how I personally cope during periods of heightened anxiety or a panic attack so I hope the following helps you in some way. Do remember though, that we’re all different and you need to discover what routine works best for you. If you’d like some help to gently uncover […]
Ask yourself: What’s holding me back?
What price would you put on finding the confidence to live the life that you want and not one that is expected of you? Or maybe a better question would be…what’s holding you back? There are many reasons why you might be stuck in a rut or wondering how things could ever be different, but […]
My silent retreat at Vipassana Malaysia
I survived ten days in a silent retreat! I survived ten days with no talking, no communication of any kind and no gestures or body language towards others (apart from the teacher on a couple of occasions), but to be honest, no talking was actually the easiest part. I had been thinking about signing up […]
Abuse stories
There’s a lot of information out there about dealing with abuse. You can get support in online forums, Facebook Groups or via the Freedom Programme in the UK, whilst many groups at local and national level offer advice. As you would expect, many books have also been written about this huge topic over the years. […]
Characteristics of a manipulative person
Is a bully a narcissist? […]
How to get your life together
In this article I am going to explain a process that you can use to get back on track when you feel that your life is running out of control or is taking you in a different direction to the one that you had hoped. It’s also useful when you feel stuck in a rut […]
Your life choices: you can change things around
The time will eventually come when you have to let go of the things that are causing you distress if you want to be happy. Or you can continue to allow them to affect every aspect of your life – you have a choice. I wrote that first paragraph while sitting on a rock at […]
Negative effects of divorce on children
I wrote this article in response to some of my readers who wanted to know how to handle their (almost adult) children’s growing hostility. In both cases they attributed the change in character to the breakdown of their relationships and the fact that the other parent had always been manipulating and controlling. I will address […]
Grounding Techniques for Anxiety
Here are some techniques to help you to calm things down before or during an anxiety attack. You can also use them during a panic attack or at any time that you feel your stress levels spiraling out of control. What is anxiety? Anxiety happens when our bodies go into freeze, fight or flight mode […]
Supporting someone recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship
Don’t ever underestimate the impact that somebody else’s previous trauma can have on your relationship with them. Whether it’s a partner, friend or family member we may find ourselves trying to deal with unwanted emotional outbursts. Anger and withdrawal are just two behaviours that might occur unexpectedly when they are triggered by something and these […]