The time will eventually come when you have to let go of the things that are causing you distress if you want to be happy. Or you can continue to allow them to affect every aspect of your life – you have a choice.
I wrote that first paragraph while sitting on a rock at the base of a waterfall in New Zealand. I was thinking about the things that bring me peace. Forests, friends and family who love me unconditionally, mindfulness and waterfalls are some of those things.
Waterfalls always inspire me to move forwards. Maybe it’s the momentum and force of the water which can only ever flow onwards and never back or the sound of the sheer power of nature, but I feel connected with the universe and more in tune with the larger picture when I’m sat near a waterfall.
Waterfalls even smell different to other places because the air is cleansed and charged with positivity, sweeping the negative ions over the precipice and downstream to the sea.
Over billions of years the water has carved its path forming deep pools and channels where fish and insects thrive. Waterfalls are spiritual places, revered in many cultures and it’s not hard to see why.
- We can choose to cling onto sadness and bad memories.
- We can choose whether we will wear a hair shirt and wallow in shame or guilt.
- We can choose regret over hope.
Life is all about choices.
Choosing hope over regret or happiness over grief doesn’t mean that you are uncaring or selfish. It means that you choose life and living.
It’s the biggest cliché ever but we only have one life (as far as any of us knows for sure), so please don’t waste it on false beliefs.
Sometimes people are shocked when I tell them my story. They ask how I find the strength to continue and they are amazed that I appear so happy and at peace most of the time.
I explain that it hasn’t always been so, that I have had many dark days when I didn’t want to continue and I still have days of complete sorrow. In the beginning I seemed to cry for months on end, grieving for my loss and racked with guilt at the way that things had turned out.
Then when I realized that I did have choices things began to change.
I always try to do the best by other people.
I always try to treat others as I would prefer to be treated.
Like each of us I made some choices, that maybe with hindsight could have been better, but I made them nevertheless, according to the information and the situation at the time. Whilst it’s true that I have to live with those choices it’s not true that I have to punish myself or be punished for the rest of my life.
And so I choose life.
I choose happiness and joy, awareness and peace.
I choose to be content and to surround myself with people that I love and admire.
And you have the power inside yourself too, no matter what your story. Whether it’s something that happened to you or something that you did you can allow yourself to forgive and you can release yourself from your suffering.
Usually, the only person that you are hurting is yourself. Others have often moved on no matter how bad the event was that you are holding on to BUT even if they haven’t, well, that is THEIR choice.
They can choose to approach you and have an adult conversation, apologise or ask for your version of events.
- They can choose to cling onto sadness and bad memories.
- They can choose whether they will wear a hair shirt and wallow in shame or guilt.
- They can choose regret over hope.
Life is all about choices.
We make our own choices. We choose what thoughts to believe and what beliefs we will allow to affect our emotions.
Your life choices
It’s not always easy to see a way out, to see how we can allow ourselves freedom from our past, especially when we take into consideration what other people might be thinking of us. Some people very close to me told me recently that they don’t think that I have done enough to resolve my personal situation but they don’t have the whole story. They don’t know what I have been doing to resolve things nor how I feel. They told me that in my shoes they wouldn’t be able to continue; that they couldn’t carry on. My response to that was that had I taken that stance they wouldn’t be sitting and talking to me over dinner. I would have given up on life ten years ago!
I made a choice to settle my peace with the past but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have sad days. It doesn’t meant that it’s easy or that I don’t have to work at being positive on those down days but when I think of the alternative the choice is easy.
I choose life.
I choose living and I choose peace.
If you’ve been stuck in a situation for a while and you want to know how to think differently about it and move forward I can help.
If you find yourself wondering how to let go and move forward I can help.
If you’re ready to step out of your comfort zone…and no matter how gloomy your present situation is, it does become your comfort zone…if you could do with some extra help and support from somebody who understands, then send me a message and we can arrange a free session.
Your life choices.