We can never reach perfection because we are always growing and changing but we can be at ease with and accept ourselves.
We can work to understand and eradicate our insecurities.
We can do our best for ourselves and other people.
We can accept others (and ourselves) unconditionally, without judgment.
If we don’t know ourselves inside out then how can we ever be in a position to judge others?
And it’s in getting to the root of understanding ourselves that we uncover our own true identity.
When we understand how and why we think and act as we do and when we understand how our beliefs have been formed, then we can be secure in the knowledge of who we are.
Once you grasp this, whatever you have been hanging onto can be let go.
Believe me, it’s liberating, but it’s not easy.
Once you seriously start along this journey of establishing your sense of identity there will be light-bulb moments when it dawns on you why you feel certain deep emotions. For instance, can you remember when and why you first felt guilty? Do you know the very first time that you felt unsure of yourself? Do you know why you find it scary to walk into a party without knowing a soul there? When you understand why certain things have the power to make you feel a certain way, and possibly have been doing for most of your life, you can work on identifying the triggers and learn how to shrug them off.
Do you have a clear set of core values? Do you know why you believe the things that you do and why some things are more important to you in life? The morals that you live your life by are also a part of your identity and were developed according to your frame of reference while you were growing up.
As we leave home and enter the work place, college or we travel, we decide for ourselves which values and beliefs from our childhood we want to discard. We understand more about the world and we might want to follow a different path. We may change our view of what is right and wrong not realizing that our identity has been established and what was established as we grew up might not be who we identify with now.
The good news is that it is possible to build our self identity which can only help to make us stronger, more self assured and more confident.
We can do it by being kind to ourselves and to others.
We can do it by forgiving (I prefer to use the term releasing) ourselves and others from guilt and shame.
We can achieve it by being non-judgmental and open minded.
We can do it by being cheerful and positive.
We get there by reflecting upon our actions, thoughts and deeds over a period of time, analyzing them and understanding them.
We can build upon the characteristics that we like and we can choose to let go of the beliefs that no longer serve us. We will know who we are at the core.
When we live in a mindful way with thought and care and when we let go of the negative things from our past that we believed were at our core, then we can find peace, ease and ultimately happiness.